Our Intimate Woodsy Vow Renewal: 10 Years Later
- 34 minutes ago
- 4 min read
June 4th marks 10 years since Tom and I said "I do" in front of more than 200 people. This time, less than 5 people knew what we were doing. Just us and our two babies, tucked away in our little slice of heaven in the north woods of Wisconsin.
I can't believe a whole decade has gone by. This day was so incredibly special for our family and one I'll cherish forever. I wouldn't change a thing! Sharing the details in case you're interested.
WHY WE CHOSE TO RENEW OUR VOWS
Tom and I are completely different people now than we were 10 years ago. Our marriage has changed in so many ways, and it's going to keep changing as we grow older. We got married in 2016 in a Catholic church, so we didn't get to write our own vows. We said the words we were handed, and I meant all of them, but they weren't ours. We made a promise to each other a decade ago, but our promises now look a little different. Back then we were two kids who had no clue what was coming. Now we've got two babies, we've been through the hard stuff and the sticky stuff, and we're still here picking each other. This was us basically going, I accept every version of you. Even the hard ones. Even the ones we haven't met yet.
WHAT THE WORDS MEAN NOW VS. THEN
When I said my vows the first time I meant them so hard. But looking back, I had no idea what I was actually promising. Ten years ago we were young and sweet and so sure of everything. The promises came out so easily because we hadn't lived any of it yet. We were just two kids saying we'd love each other through everything, with zero clue what "everything" was gonna be.
Now those same words hit completely different. We've got ten years of actual history behind them. We've lived the for better or worse part. We know what it's like to be running on empty and still choose each other. So saying it now isn't a cute hopeful guess anymore, it's just true, because we've already done it.
There's this one photo from the day I keep staring at. It's a side by side, us kissing at our wedding ten years ago and us hugging at the renewal, and the pose wasn't even planned which is the crazy part. But you can totally see it. The kiss back then is light and sweet, a little young promise. The hug now is deep and tight, like we know everything those ten years threw at us and we're still hanging on. Same two people, completely different.
2016 2026
THE DAY OF THE RENEWAL
I keep saying it was the most laid back day ever, because it genuinely was. We all slept in. There was no schedule, no timeline to stick to besides our photographer arriving. We played, we painted, we cuddled, we stayed in our pajamas and took everything slow. Just our family, present with each other. When the moment felt right, we read our vows out loud with our two angels right by our side, standing in the middle of the peaceful woods on the property we own...God is good.
We set up the "ceremony" space the day before as a family. I didn't want anything too fancy, just meaningful and woodsy. Tom cut down some tree stumps and I found a local woman for the florals, and she made the most insanely gorgeous arrangements. I added flameless candles from Amazon around the base. The rug we stood on is a 100 year old Kilim I bought for $30 at a flea market last summer, in the city in Bosnia where I was born. A Kilim is a traditional hand woven rug with bright geometric patterns and symbols, and they're treasured pieces in Balkan culture, so it meant the world to stand on it. We also had the same wooden cross we held when we said our vows in Jesus's home ten years ago. It was a gift from my mom before our wedding. Funny enough, the day before the wedding we were driving to our rehearsal dinner and the cross fell and cracked in half. I cried so hard, I literally said "our marriage is doomed." After we glued it back together, the priest held it and talked to us about how marriage is hard and will have many cracks, and that this cross was a symbol of how we'd have to glue those cracks back together for the rest of our lives. Because that's just it. Marriage isn't perfect. It has flaws and you work through them.
The kids walked me to Tom to "Bones" by Russell Dickerson, one of our favorite songs. My dear friend Courtney made the 3 hour drive to capture it all. It was so chill, I was calm, zero nerves. No one there I felt I had to impress or entertain. The kids sat on a bench and Dom recorded us on a vintage camera, a little detail I didn't originally plan on but am SO glad I did. That footage is precious. He even wrote his own speech for the two of us and my mama heart was bursting. Ten years ago our first dance was to "Soldier" by Gavin DeGraw. Tom was active military at the time, so it was so fitting for our lives back then and just a beautiful wedding song for us. This time we danced to "Life With You" by Kelsey Hart, because it's so us now. Doing life together these past years has been a rollercoaster, and this song is all about choosing each other over and over again, which is exactly what we do. The kids love it too. We ended by digging into the yummiest and stunning cake made homemade by my bestie and COO Cassidy.
Photographer: @courtneybreiderphoto
Location: Northwoods, WI